Lets Just Talk About It Podcast with Chuck

Ep.107 A voice for the voiceless w/ guest Kelly Dara

• Season 3 • Episode 107

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What if the path to redemption began with a single, courageous story? Meet Kelly Dara, a formidable advocate for incarcerated women, whose journey from rebellious teen to lifer in a Virginia correctional facility is as heart-wrenching as it is inspiring. Having spent three decades behind bars for a crime committed in her youth, Kelly opens up about the chain of misguided decisions that led to her imprisonment and her subsequent transformation. Through her candid reflections, Kelly challenges us to rethink our perceptions of those who have served time and to recognize the untapped potential within prison walls.

Kelly’s tale is not just one of incarceration, but also of survival and resilience. Diagnosed with stage one breast cancer at 41, Kelly's fight against the disease is a testament to her indomitable spirit. Despite the inadequate medical resources available at the Fluvanna Correctional Center for Women, she emerged victorious, buoyed by the unwavering support of family, friends, and advocacy groups. Released thanks to juvenile parole law reforms, Kelly's story highlights the critical importance of community support and personal determination in overcoming life's toughest challenges.

In an eye-opening discussion, Kelly sheds light on the systemic hurdles that individuals with past convictions face when re-entering society, particularly women. Her advocacy work with the Humanization Project spotlights the urgent need for systemic change, offering second chances and amplifying voices often left unheard. Through transparent dialogue and powerful storytelling, Kelly’s journey underscores the transformative power of advocacy and community support, and we extend our heartfelt gratitude to listeners who champion these important conversations.

Chuck :

Hey, welcome back to another episode of let's Just Talk About it podcast. I'm your host, chuck, and if you're here for the first time, this platform was created to give genuine people just like you an opportunity to share a portion of your life's journey. So, with that being said, I have Kelly Darro on with me today, who's a part of the Humanization Project, and on this episode, she shares her story of how she spent 30 years of her life incarcerated, but now, since her release, she's been a voice for women who are still in prison to bring awareness to the fact that women who are incarcerated still have value. So you don't want to miss this conversation. As a matter of fact, do me a favor go and grab your husband, your wife, your children, or even call a friend and gather around to listen to my conversation with Kelly on let's Just Talk About it podcast. Hey, let's jump right in. Welcome back to another episode of let's Just Talk About it podcast Today. I have Miss Kelly Darrow on with us today. How's it going today, Kelly?

Kelly Dara:

It's going great, chuck, thanks for having me.

Chuck :

Absolutely. I really appreciate you being on today.

Kelly Dara:

Thank you, I appreciate you talking to me.

Chuck :

As always, I love to jump right into my interviews to have those genuine conversations with genuine people just like yourself, Kelly, to share a portion of your life's journey. And I love to jump right in by asking this question when did you grow up?

Kelly Dara:

I grew up right here in Virginia Beach.

Chuck :

What part of Virginia Beach.

Kelly Dara:

I'm out in the Kempsville area where I am.

Chuck :

Gotcha Shout out to Kempsville.

Kelly Dara:

Yeah, shout out to Kempsville, my home away from home.

Chuck :

How was that out there, Kempsville?

Kelly Dara:

It's been my stomping ground since I was just a little kid. So, yeah, we moved down here. We moved down here from New York when I was like six and yeah, yeah, yep. So I don't even consider myself a New Yorker for real.

Chuck :

but my family does so got you, wow, okay, so, so let's go back being being. You said you've been in Kinsville for six, since you were six years old. Yeah pretty much, so how was that at six growing up?

Kelly Dara:

Oh, it was fabulous. But, I come from a different generation so, like you know, the streetlights come on and you go home, type of thing. Right, exactly. So this area wasn't as developed as it is now. So, there was like a lot of woods and a lot of construction sites and we would go out with all of our friends and bike ride and, you know, explore and play on basketball courts and the whole nine yards. It was just a really, really yeah, and it was a really family-friendly area.

Chuck :

Yeah, wow, okay, okay. When you finally got old enough to go out on your own, what was that like for you?

Kelly Dara:

oh, it was great um yeah yeah, I had good times, like when I hit. I mean I did the the usual rebelling things right, okay, you know like teenagers, do you know? And so I would lie and say I was going somewhere, that I wasn't going. But you know, I always got caught and I always got in trouble.

Chuck :

You always did right, always did With no cell phones, still got caught no cell phones and still got in trouble.

Kelly Dara:

I snuck out of the house one night and came home and my mother was up waiting for me and I said how did you know I was gone? And she said there was no noise coming from your bedroom and they had no cell phones, but still somehow we all they knew that court yeah yeah, wow, yeah wow, amazing.

Chuck :

So I met you through Taj Mayenhaf. He's a part of the humanization project and he introduced us to each other. And the reason why he introduced me to you because he felt like your story would be great on the podcast. And so let's talk about your story, your journey in being incarcerated, what led up to that place of incarceration.

Kelly Dara:

Oh, so many things. The easiest way to say it is that I took my rebellion too far. Ok the more detailed and more in-depth and real answer is that I was looking, I was looking for love, I was looking for someone to love me and I got involved with the wrong guy, you know, and it led me down the wrong path and I went to prison at the age of 17 for first degree murder.

Chuck :

Let me pause right there. Taj Mahon-Haft is a part of the Humanization Project, and he advocates for those who are incarcerated, so that's why I asked you that question. Let's talk about your incarceration, you know, let's go back to that. So I just wanted to listen to the audience to know where I was going with that yeah, that's fine, that's fine yeah. So you were looking for love in the wrong place.

Kelly Dara:

Yes.

Chuck :

Got you, yes Wow.

Kelly Dara:

And um, by my parents were completely against it. His parents were completely against it, and it just made it all the more exciting for us to be together. So we formulated a plan to run away and who okay? Set one of our classmates up and to steal his car and killed him.

Chuck :

Wow, Mm, hmm.

Kelly Dara:

Yeah, steal the car and run away together. That was the plan.

Chuck :

Wow. So what was that moment like? At that time, you just felt like you was going to get away and just that's it. Nobody's going to come after me.

Kelly Dara:

Yes, that's exactly what we thought.

Chuck :

That's it. Nobody's going to come after me. Yes that's exactly what we thought.

Kelly Dara:

Wow, yes, yes.

Chuck :

I believe the reason why kids do so much crazy stuff is that we have that mentality that we're not going to get caught. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, we're going to get away with it.

Kelly Dara:

Yeah, that we're all invincible.

Chuck :

Untouchable.

Kelly Dara:

Yes, yes, that we can lie our way out of any situation, because that's what we do, that's what kids do. They try to lie their way out of every situation and yeah, wow. So, you think, even if you do get caught, say, stealing a bag of chips from the grocery store, you think that you can just lie your way out of it by saying oh man, I forgot that it was in my pocket and go home.

Chuck :

Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow. So when the police came and got you, so what was?

Kelly Dara:

that like how did you feel? If you could remember? Oh, I remember like it was yesterday. I was scared to death because we had actually taken off to North Carolina, and that's who. That's where we got arrested and brought back to Virginia.

Chuck :

Wow.

Kelly Dara:

Yeah, yeah, scared to death.

Chuck :

Wow, did you get out on bond, or did you just stay in there the whole time?

Kelly Dara:

No, stayed in the whole time.

Chuck :

Never saw the streets again.

Kelly Dara:

Never saw the streets again.

Chuck :

Wow, so talk about that moment where you went to court.

Kelly Dara:

The thing about going to court when you're 17, 18 years old is that you watch way too much TV Like you watch too many episodes of Matlock or Law and Order, or you know, and you think that some miracle is going to happen and that you're going to you're, you're going to go home and you don't. And it was heartbreaking, you know like the whole and not just, and I don't want to just talk about my situation you know, like for everybody that was involved.

Kelly Dara:

You know that one moment destroyed lives and going through court was just a constant reminder of the lives that I destroyed. Mm, hmm, mm hmm.

Chuck :

Wow. So as a 17 year old, you had to go in front of the judge and and and hit a case, and so forth. So sentencing comes.

Kelly Dara:

Talk about that day, because I remember mine oh man, I my legs went out from under me when I got sent because, like I mean, I mean, can I go ahead and say how much I got sentenced? Talk about it. Yeah, yes, yes, I got sentenced to life under Virginia's no parole law. What year was that? 1995.

Chuck :

Wow, so you just missed it, then Just missed it, yep, because they stopped parole. What 94?

Kelly Dara:

95. January of 95.

Chuck :

Yes, so at the moment you're in court, your family is there Judge tells you to stand up and he says, Miss Kelly Dyer, I now send you to life in prison as a 17 year old.

Kelly Dara:

That had to be like devastating to everybody in the courtroom at the time. It was yeah, it was. I clearly remember my mother saying can I hug her one more time? Before you take her from me. Yeah, but again, again, we have to. Yes, yes, it's. It's heartbreaking to go through this as a 17 year old, and I'm not trying to minimize my actions.

Chuck :

I hurt somebody and their entire family.

Kelly Dara:

Yes, yes, yes. But with that being said, you know the other aspect is is that my actions not just destroyed the victim's family, my actions destroyed my own family, you know, and the ripple effects of every action that you make. It just goes on for so long and so deep and that one moment, like changed the trajectory of so many people's lives and having to put my parents through that is it weighs so heavily on me still to this day that I put them through that for all those years.

Chuck :

Wow. So that whole situation still weighs on you mentally sometimes.

Kelly Dara:

Yes, it does, it does. That's deep man.

Chuck :

Mm-hmm. So, but, that being said, you get sentenced. So what happens after that? I want to have this conversation so young people can hear what goes on with our choices that we make. You know what I mean, yeah absolutely yeah absolutely, um, nine months.

Kelly Dara:

I was in the jail for nine months and then I went to prison and settled in for the long haul. Really, it's the only other way to put it is that, you know, at 18, 17, 18 years old, hitting the penitentiary is, you know, it's a whole another world on its own. It's a whole nother world in there like it's, like being inside of a community that is stuck in their mentality. You know, and your choices are to either settle in and ride it out and, you know, join the club, or to rise above it.

Chuck :

Wow, you chose to rise above it.

Kelly Dara:

Eventually, yes, but at first, no. I settled in, and settled in for the long haul. I was like, well, this is where I'm going to be and this is where I'm going to be forever. So I might as well, you know, join the club, yeah, plus plus the on. The other aspect of that is that I was still very, very young and it was basically my first time on my own. So I had to make decisions and choices. I had to grow up and I had to grow up quick and I had to figure out who I was as an adult. At 18 years, 17, 18 years old, you know like you don't have your parents there to shelter you. You don't have your big brother there to be like you're going the wrong way.

Kelly Dara:

You might not want to hang out with those people. You know you have to do you're on your own. Yeah, you had to make those choices, yep yeah, yeah, and it's survival of the fittest, like either you're gonna survive in there or you're gonna let it consume you, and I chose to survive yeah.

Chuck :

So what would you tell a young lady right now who you see yourself in back then headed in the wrong direction? What would you say to her?

Kelly Dara:

well, I think the first question is would they even listen If?

Chuck :

I could get them to listen.

Kelly Dara:

I think what I would say to them is, if somebody that's in the same position that I was in, I would have to tell them your parents really do know what's best for you. They really do. As much as you think they hold you back, as much as you think that they're making decisions and handing out punishments because they don't understand you, they do. They do More so than anybody else in the world, because parents have been there and done that and they got the T-shirt you know, they know what's best for you.

Kelly Dara:

They do know what's best for you, because they've made the same mistakes that you've already made. Right, yeah, and I would. I would hope, I would really hope that somebody would really think about that If they were, if they are out there listening and they're heading down the same path I was heading down. Just stop, take a breath and just see if it's really worth it. Right Think about whether or not it's really worth it.

Chuck :

Wow, good answer. Thank you, absolutely Good answer. Yeah, if they, if they would listen. Yeah, yeah, so being in there, how long did you do?

Kelly Dara:

I did 28 years 11 months to the day.

Chuck :

Wow, 28 years from 17. Wow, 28 years. Kelly, you mentioned that you beat cancer. Talk about that.

Kelly Dara:

I was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer in 2018 and was only because I had my second mammogram of my life, and so everybody that's listening, go get your mammograms. I was 41 years old when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. No history of cancer in my family, nothing like it. It was just a fluke. So I went. I underwent a lumpectomy, four rounds of chemo, lost all of my hair, every drop of it, and anybody that knows me knows that my hair is my pride.

Kelly Dara:

I have long natural red curly hair and yeah, and it was gone completely bald and 20 rounds of radiation and as of what's today's date, december 3rd, mm-hmm 3rd. Okay, two days from now is my six-year survival.

Chuck :

Wow, ring the bell, Shout out to you, yeah.

Kelly Dara:

Yes, ring it, wow, Ring it loud.

Chuck :

Let me ask you this so how did you get that attention? Were you feeling bad or something that you know made you go get checked out, or just routine checkup?

Kelly Dara:

It was just a routine checkup. They had started. There was a bunch of and anybody can you know Google Fluvanna Correctional Center for Women and see the list of newspaper articles and stories that have been written about the horrible medical care there. So through lawsuits, fluvanna started being held accountable for their medical care, yeah, and so they started trying to get us all in for like our routine checkups.

Kelly Dara:

And I turned 40 and had my first mammogram and everything was clear. I turned 41 and they were like we found something We've got to send you to UVA. So shout out to UVA because they are one of the greatest cancer centers in America. They were. They treated me like a human being. I never felt like I was incarcerated when I was there, um, and they were the kindest, most gentlest people in in I've ever met while I was incarcerated. They were just amazing. So thank you for UVA and thank you. I feel bad for the people that had to go through what they went through in order to get the medical care a little bit better in Fluvanna. But thank you, ladies for your fight, because without them I wouldn't be having this conversation with you.

Chuck :

Wow, so you was at where now I was in Fluvanna, okay.

Kelly Dara:

It's in Troy, Virginia. It's right outside of Charlottesville.

Chuck :

Well, I tell you, boy, they got prisons in them little spots, they everywhere. People just don't know, just don't know. Yeah, just don't know. Glad you're a cancer survivor. You beat it and you also came home, yep, and you got another victory, so yeah. Yes, more to come, more to come.

Kelly Dara:

Absolutely. And this isn't the end. You guys are going to hear a lot more from me, yeah.

Chuck :

So in that time frame, what did you do? Did you go to school?

Kelly Dara:

Oh yeah, when I was not being a knucklehead, I went to school. I got a college scholarship and came home with an associate's degree. I studied electrical, I studied plumbing, I studied digital imaging and printing. I did all of the like thinking for a change classes, all of the accountability classes. I did building and maintenance for a long time, where I would repair things within the institution. I did that for like 10 years. I did train dogs. I did everything.

Kelly Dara:

I did everything that they offered and that they offered to me and allowed me to do with my type of sentence. I did it. I did it.

Chuck :

That's deep.

Kelly Dara:

And my reason for doing all of that, even without any like end of the road site like this sentence is never going to end for me, but I still want to take advantage of all this stuff. My main reason was because, regardless of where I was, I wanted my parents to be able to be proud of me got you wow now you know yeah, amazing so.

Chuck :

I know people had listening, heard you say you had a life sentence. So the next question is you said you came home. Let's talk about how you got home okay.

Kelly Dara:

well, um, thanks to the effort of organizations like the humanization project, um, who, I think and you don't want to quote me on this because I don't know for sure Humanization Project helped pass a law for juveniles to be able to apply for parole in Virginia after serving 20 years. So this law applied to me because I was 17 when everything happened and it passed in 2020. I went up for parole three times and on the third time I made it. I came home in February.

Chuck :

Wow this year.

Kelly Dara:

This year 2024. 2024.

Chuck :

Haven't even been home a year, yet you said 28 years, 11 months 28 years, 11 months.

Kelly Dara:

I just rounded up to 30.

Chuck :

Yeah, round it off. Yeah, exactly 30 years. That's deep, man. You never hear about a woman doing that amount of time.

Kelly Dara:

Never hear a lot about women doing any kind of time.

Chuck :

Absolutely so. How has it been since you've been home? How does it feel after all those years being home? It feels like I never left.

Kelly Dara:

And it feels that way because of my support system, because of the friendships that I formed in there, that went home before me and held me down for nine, 10 years, stayed by my side, answered the phone my parents you know I'm blessed enough that my parents are still alive. Yeah, I prayed every day that I could make it home before something happened to them. And I'm telling you, god answers prayers, not on your time, not when you want him to. That's good, but he does, and I'm living proof of that. My brother has been absolutely amazing. Through this entire ordeal he has been like my biggest supporter. Since I've been home, he took me in, he's letting me live with him. It's, it's just, it's great, it's just like I. I mean, there's moments where I'll be like um, I don't know how to do such and such, or I don't know how to act in such and such a situation, and like somebody is always right there to be like Kelly. This is the way, Kelly, you're doing fine, you know. Just to kind of boost me up a little bit.

Chuck :

Yeah. What's your brother's name? Brian, shout out to Brian. Yeah, yeah, and your mom and dad Shout out to them for sticking by your side. It's very important to have that support system. You know, while you're there and when you come out. Yes, absolutely, wow, absolutely.

Kelly Dara:

So so what are some of the challenges that you have? Do you have any challenges being home? Yes, um, the biggest thing that affected me when I got home was, you know, when you first come home, it's like everybody's so excited and everybody wants to see you, and then eventually, everybody just goes back to their regular life To normal.

Kelly Dara:

Yes, when people went back to their regular lives and I was alone for the first time, it was so quiet, chuck. It was like I could not, I couldn't, I couldn't handle it. Like I had a whole breakdown because, like it's never quiet inside, it's never quiet, never Count time.

Chuck :

Yes, ciao.

Kelly Dara:

It's doors closing all night long, toilets flushing all night long. You know, people talking all night long and all day long, it's never quiet. People talking all night long and all day long, it's never quiet. So that first night that it was just me and my brother in the house and I was in my room putting my stuff away, I just started crying because it was so quiet. I could finally hear my own thoughts.

Chuck :

Wow, after all that time you could finally hear peace and quiet.

Kelly Dara:

Yeah, yeah, I don't have to sleep with earplugs, I can turn the light off. Like these little things that that people take for granted every single day are like momentous. Yeah to people that have done time that's right.

Chuck :

So was it a challenge for you to get a job coming out, as you know, with your conviction?

Kelly Dara:

yes, with that giant scarlet m on my chest. Yes, yes, yes. I listened to one of your podcasts a couple of days ago where, um, you were talking to some of your friends and they mentioned a badge it's like a badge. It's like the badge yep yes, it's like a badge, and you know what they don't tell you inside, or they? They say which is not true, or maybe it's just virginia that when they run a background check, they only go back 10 years that's not true.

Chuck :

No, not at all, it's not true it's not true.

Kelly Dara:

Every job I applied for shot me down because of my background and so I ended up going to a staffing agency and they have put me to work in a warehouse, which I'm not sitting here trying to say that I'm better than working in a warehouse, because work is work and a paycheck is a paycheck. You know, but I never imagined myself standing on my feet for eight hours a day putting parts together for some lawnmower, you know, but it's just a testament to it doesn't matter what I learned when I was inside, it doesn't matter out here.

Chuck :

That's what I wanted to ask you All those trades you took.

Kelly Dara:

Yeah.

Chuck :

It doesn't mean anything out here for real.

Kelly Dara:

No, no, because of that giant scarlet M that I wear on my chest.

Chuck :

Wow, mm, hmm, mm, hmm, that's that's another thing that needs to be. You know, taking a look at to. You know how we view people and how we hire in terms of people coming out. You know what do people supposed to do. You know what I mean.

Kelly Dara:

Yeah, yeah, Because I had some fantastic job offers you know, and I'd go to the interview. I knocked the interview out of the park. You know they're like, oh my God, I'd love to have you on my team, I can't wait to get you started. We just have to run a background check and I'm like, okay, well, here's what you're going to find.

Chuck :

Yeah, what you're going to find. Yeah, so you just go ahead and tell them.

Kelly Dara:

Just tell them. Just tell them. Just be honest and tell them. And they all said like every one of them said well, it was so long ago, it shouldn't matter, but it does. It didn't matter to the person that interviewed me, it didn't matter to, you know, the person that owned the store or the place that I was interviewing at, but it mattered to HR.

Chuck :

Wow you know.

Kelly Dara:

So then when they run the background check and they come across this conviction from 1995, they're like I'm sorry, we have to rescind our job offer.

Chuck :

Hmm.

Kelly Dara:

Yeah.

Chuck :

So they go all the way back to 95.

Kelly Dara:

They did on me.

Chuck :

Yeah, that's deep I didn't think they, like you said, I didn't think they were supposed to do that.

Kelly Dara:

Go all the way back that I didn't think so either, but they did yeah wow, so that's been, that's been a challenge yeah, it has been yeah, finding that work but, um, that, that's gonna, that's gonna change soon.

Chuck :

You know, somebody's gonna open the door for you.

Kelly Dara:

Yep Absolutely, absolutely.

Chuck :

Yep, somebody's going to. So, being out now, we can't forget the people that we left behind. You know what I mean. I know your heart is still with your friends because there's some valuable people People don't understand, some valuable people behind bars that just made a mistake, you know.

Kelly Dara:

Mm-hmm. Yeah, some people want their second chance. Yeah, some people want a second chance.

Chuck :

Yeah, yeah, there's one.

Kelly Dara:

there's one girl in particular. I feel like you were getting ready to ask me this anyway, so I'm just going to jump to the answer.

Kelly Dara:

There's sure, there's one girl in particular that I met when I was 18 and she was 19 and she has been locked up since 92. And she are, she's my best friend and we talk on the phone every single day. We talk because I never thought in a million years, number one, that I would leave her behind and number two, that I would make parole before her. There's just I just it doesn't make any sense to me because she's done everything that I did and more, and she, she, but it's. It was so hard to leave her behind that I just I can't, I can't just walk away from that situation and act like those 30 years didn't happen.

Chuck :

It's not just her.

Kelly Dara:

There's. There's so many people that I left behind, people that I left behind, so many amazing women that are still behind bars that deserve to sit in the middle yeah, second chance deserves to sit in the middle of their floor and cry because it's quiet. Or, you know, experience their first Christmas. You know, decorate the house like, like, like it's nobody's business, like. I spent so much money on Christmas decorations because I just didn't feel like my brother had enough and he was like, do whatever you want, it's your first Christmas home. So, you know, and, and they deserve, they deserve that opportunity and I just which is why I'm part of the humanization project in the first place is because something has to, something has to give in Virginia, do you know how many women have made parole since I made parole in 2023?

Chuck :

How many?

Kelly Dara:

Zero.

Chuck :

Wow.

Kelly Dara:

Not a single woman has come home since I come home on parole.

Chuck :

So what do you think the issue is with that?

Kelly Dara:

I think it's a this is going to sound horrible. I think it's a this is gonna sound horrible. I think it's a numbers game. I think it's because I think that there's like an unspoken percentage of people in virginia that need to be released on parole to make it look like that the parole board is doing their job. Yes, and unfortunately it's more men that are incarcerated than women, so the odds are not in women's favor to make parole. You know, and I think that I just I think. I think I have a guardian angel. I think I'm extremely blessed.

Kelly Dara:

And you know, I think I'm extremely blessed and you know, yeah, and when the parole board had Chadwick Dodson on it, he interviewed all of us women and he was like I'm going to fight for you, I'm going to fight for you, I'm going to fight for you. And he got me and one other girl released on parole and then he left and now he's the head of DOC. And so we're back to square one with a parole board where it's like Nobody to fight, nobody to fight Nobody on the inside to fight for us.

Chuck :

So what role do you play in the humanization project?

Kelly Dara:

I'm the advocate for women behind bars.

Chuck :

Got you. So how does that look? What do you have to do? What do you do in terms of have to do, or what do you do in terms of?

Kelly Dara:

so what it is is that I bring a side of incarceration that is vastly underrepresented, because when you hear about post release, or you hear about the numbers, or you hear about what's going on inside, it's always men, men, men, men, men, and, and even on the inside the numbers, or you hear about what's going on inside, it's always men, men, men, men, men and, and even on the inside as well, as when we're released, women are still grouped in with men.

Kelly Dara:

So I bring a voice to the voiceless by saying this is what's happening for women, it's different for men. So this is what's happening for women. This is how women are being neglected, this is how women are being overlooked, this is how women are losing their sense of femininity. You know, and yeah, and it's a lot, and it goes very, very deep. And I'm just scratching the surface by trying to bring awareness to women's medical care in there, because when you think of women and you think of their medical care, the first thing you think of is probably pregnancy or being a mother. But the vast majority of women that are incarcerated are over the age of, say, they're in their 40s, so they're going through a different kind of physical change.

Kelly Dara:

Right right and they don't get the treatment that they need Treatment.

Chuck :

I understand.

Kelly Dara:

Yeah, yeah.

Chuck :

Yeah, the physicals.

Kelly Dara:

The physicals, the like you know. I'm just going to put it out there. When you go through menopause, you lose, you know, bone density, you lose hormones and you're supposed to have supplements provided for you to help that you don't get anything to deal with, like the mood swings or the hot flashes or anything else that comes with going through menopause. Like they just. They're basically just like well, deal with it, Tough it out, It'll stop eventually.

Chuck :

Wow, so that's the mentality Wow.

Kelly Dara:

Yeah, yeah.

Chuck :

So it's like y'all just thrown aside.

Kelly Dara:

We're just thrown inside and we're like left to fend for ourselves. So I mean and as much as I hate to admit this like you do things to survive in there, like if somebody else was lucky enough to go to medical who happens to be pregnant and gets a prenatal vitamin, then somebody whose hair has started thinning out really, really bad, will share their prenatal vitamins so that you know you're not walking around with ball patches in your hair. Your hair is not thinning, you know? Which again goes back to women's femininity.

Chuck :

Right. You know, again goes back to women's femininity, right, you know. So the same thing goes on with a woman out here, goes on in there, but the thing is, y'all don't get the attention inside, exactly wow yeah wow, so you're the voice for the voiceless.

Kelly Dara:

I'm the voice for the voiceless.

Chuck :

I like that.

Kelly Dara:

Yep.

Chuck :

Wow, you're amazing. Thank you Absolutely, and I look at it as if God brought you out for a reason so you can make a change that you will be that person who does that change you know what I'm saying?

Kelly Dara:

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Chuck :

And I believe you would do it.

Kelly Dara:

He provided me with a platform. He introduced me to Taj so.

Chuck :

Shout out to Taj.

Kelly Dara:

Shout out to Taj, shout out to Taj and the rest of the Humanization Project. They are amazing.

Chuck :

What does he mean to you, Taj he's?

Kelly Dara:

my hero.

Chuck :

Wow, he's my hero.

Kelly Dara:

He means he's great. He's just so amazing with what it is that he does and he's so passionate about it and he's so he's. He's going to change the world and he's gonna allow the humanization project to change it with him.

Chuck :

And yeah, yeah, man, I'm glad to know both of y'all oh well, we're very lucky to know you.

Kelly Dara:

Thank you so much absolutely so.

Chuck :

Um, man, I appreciate this conversation, any anything else you want to, you want to say to the listening audience in terms of the humanization project or anything else um, yeah, first I would like to say, if you are interested in following the humanization project, we're on facebook.

Kelly Dara:

Um, also, if there's any women formerly incarcerated women out there that have stories that want to share or have issues that they want addressed, you can reach me at kelly at thehumanizationprojectorg that's my email address. And also, if there is anybody listening that's heading down the path that I was heading. Just take a breath and just think is it worth it?

Chuck :

Wow.

Kelly Dara:

And I want to wish everybody a happy holiday season Wow.

Chuck :

That's what I wanted to ask you how was your first Thanksgiving?

Kelly Dara:

Oh man, it was uneventful, no. My family doesn't do traditional Thanksgiving. Oh okay, it was uneventful. No, my family doesn't do traditional.

Chuck :

Thanksgiving.

Kelly Dara:

So we had an untraditional meal. We had well, we had fresh lobster. So, yeah, so I did eat. I didn't eat a traditional meal yeah. But my brother knows that I have a soft spot in my stomach for pumpkin pie and he's never made pumpkin pie before. He's a fabulous cook, by the way. Shout out to Brian and his meals. I love them. So he made pumpkin pie for the first time ever in life and it was delicious.

Chuck :

Shout out to Brian.

Kelly Dara:

Yeah.

Chuck :

Wow, amazing, amazing, glad you're home, glad you got a second chance, thank you. So your friends that are inside you are allowing them to feel the freedom through you. Yes, wow.

Kelly Dara:

Yes.

Chuck :

Yep, wow, amazing.

Kelly Dara:

Yep Mm-hmm.

Chuck :

Thank you, kelly, for being a part of let's Just Talk About it podcast. This definitely won't be the last time, because I know you're going to do great things and I want to hear about them, if you don't mind.

Kelly Dara:

I do not mind at all. Thank you so much for having me on here and shout out to you for what you're doing. I love your podcast.

Chuck :

Appreciate you. That means a lot, that means a lot, thank you.

Kelly Dara:

That means a lot. That means a lot, thank you, thank you All right, appreciate you, no problem.

Chuck :

Wow, what an amazing conversation. Shout out to you, kelly, for having this dialogue with me. I also want to say thank you for your transparency and sharing your story and also for helping to make a difference by becoming a voice for the voiceless with the Humanization Project, and I also want to thank everyone for always tuning in to let's Just Talk About it podcast, and if you have any media needs, such as videography and photography, you can reach out to me and my business partner Low Mills at MMB Media on Facebook. So, as always, until next time, don't hold it in, but let's just talk about it. Talk to you soon, thank you.