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Lets Just Talk About It Podcast with Chuck
This Podcast is geared toward giving people a platform to share their personal story because so many people have a story, but they have nowhere to share it, but they do now, it's called Let's just talk about it Podcast because I believe every voice matters!
Lets Just Talk About It Podcast with Chuck
M&B Media: Exchanging Trauma For Purpose w/ guest Monica Atkins
Monica Atkins joins us for a heartfelt exploration of resilience and community impact, sharing her experiences from Newtown, Portsmouth. From playful childhood memories to the profound challenges of teenage motherhood, Monica's journey is a testament to the power of perseverance and support. Her story is not just about overcoming personal loss but also about transforming tragedy into a mission to protect and guide the youth of today. Monica candidly opens up about the devastating losses of her mother, cousin, and son, which propelled her to establish Stop the Violence 757, a beacon of hope and change for her community. Her emphasis on the importance of safe sex education and structured guidance for young people today reflects her dedication to preventing others from facing similar hardships.
Monica's entrepreneurial spirit shines brightly as she recounts her path to success, from securing a promising career at the Up Center to launching innovative business ventures like Atkins Yard Decor. Her work with after-school programs and support for grieving children showcases her unwavering commitment to nurturing her community. Listen as Monica shares her passion for entrepreneurship, including her unique homemade gravy and detox tea, which she crafts with love and dedication. Her journey is not just about business success but about leaving a lasting legacy of resilience and community empowerment. Join us for an episode that promises to inspire and challenge you to consider the impact one individual can have when driven by purpose and passion.
Today we have Ms Monica Atkins, the CEO of Stop the Violence 757, on with us. How are you today? I'm good, I'm great, we're delighted to have you on. Thank you, we appreciate you. Thank you, monica. Here at MMB Media TV, we love to jump right into our interviews, to have those genuine conversations with genuine people just like yourself, who are moving the needle in our culture to make a difference. So, thanks again, you're welcome, absolutely. So we love to jump right in to these interviews by asking this question when did you grow up?
Speaker 2:I grew up right here in the city of Portsmouth, in an area called Newtown.
Speaker 1:Newtown. Yes, what's Newtown?
Speaker 2:Newtown is family, newtown is discipline, newtown is fun and Newtown is childhood. Newtown is fun and Newtown is childhood.
Speaker 1:Wow, a lot of good memories.
Speaker 2:A lot of good memories, yes, wow.
Speaker 1:What's the greatest memory that you have about Newtown?
Speaker 2:Being able to go to the fire hydrant and get wet because we didn't have a pool. So you know they used to cut the fire hydrant on when we was little. We can just run through the water and just get wet and enjoy one another.
Speaker 1:So a lot of fun back then. Yes, lots of fun. Did you have to be in the house when the streetlights came on?
Speaker 2:Oh, when the 9 o'clock bomb came on, we had to be in the house, yeah, yes, all of us had been through that.
Speaker 1:You could go back to talk to your 15-year-old self. What would you tell her? You know about preparing herself for now?
Speaker 2:When I was 15. Safe sex Never heard nobody answer like that Safe sex safe sex never heard.
Speaker 1:Nobody ask it like that safe sex, why you say that?
Speaker 2:because I had my first child at 13, got you and reflected back on my life. Now I don't regret it because I had a support system, which my son will be 40 in two years and I'm able to grow with him and I love it. And I had a village, but now, when you look at 15 year olds in this day and time, they don't have villages anymore because the villages are trying to be their siblings or friends. No, because the villages are trying to be their siblings or friends. Yes, and we need more structure in the 15-year-old lives today. Wow, wow.
Speaker 1:Never heard nobody answer that like that. In terms of having safe sex, yes, that's what you would tell your younger self.
Speaker 2:Most definitely.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow. You never know who's listening, never know. It's been 10 years since you started. Stop the Violence 757. Let's talk about why did it start. As a matter of fact, december 5th right Marks the anniversary. Yes, December 5th, so it's been 10 years. So where did it all come from?
Speaker 2:So I actually started in 2013. My cousinon turner was murdered in london oats. Um, some individuals tried to rob the house and he was in his sleep, so he really never had a chance. So, um, I was a part of a call to action where me and, uh, maybe 80 individuals linked up at norcom high school to try to combat this violence thing that was starting to escalate. This was before Stop the Violence. This was before Stop the Violence. Yes, so the name of this thing that we was doing was just called Stopping the Violence. Again, it was just a call to action and you know, in this circle, you know we had a prayer circle.
Speaker 2:My son is standing in that circle, my son at the age of 25, he didn't really have to show up, but he did, you know, because he knew the impact of being family and the impact of Aaron being his cousin, how he wanted to be present, not knowing that, following year, my son was going to be a product of what I was showing up for. Following year, my son was going to be a product of what I was showing up for. So me, being the individual that I am, I can only speak for myself. My children was my world. You know um losing my mom at 17. I always said that my kids would never want for anything and I made sure that. So you know I just felt like they messed with the wrong child, because that was my baby.
Speaker 1:You say you lost your mom at 17. Yes, how did that impact you back then, being young?
Speaker 2:So it is. It's a little emotional because.
Speaker 2:I'm always talking about my son when people just don't know. I have suffered layers of trauma losing my mom, losing my dad. But, um, so I lost my mama at 17, my senior year in school. I was an honor student. Honor student all through school. I dropped out.
Speaker 2:You know I had issues with my family. You know, like I said at 16, I had already had two kids. So I felt, like you know, with my aunt having custody of me, they wanted to restructure things that I had already was what they had became a norm when my mama was living. So they tried to change that and I felt like it was too late to try to change things that I was already doing when my mama was living. So I ended up living from house to house. You know, living from house to house. You know, I eventually went back to night school, got my GED and I always just been an entrepreneur, you know. So being an entrepreneur, being very popular in the community, you know I was really able to thrive out here, you know. I mean I really didn't have to struggle.
Speaker 1:Wow, because you always had that mindset yes, I'm going, I really didn't have to struggle. Wow, you always had that mindset yes, I'm going to make it. Yes, wow, wow. So, going back to the question stop the violence. You said it originated 10 years ago. Yes, and your son was in the midst of a of a movement that you were doing, not knowing the following year that he was going to be murdered, wow. So talk about stop the Violence that originated from that.
Speaker 2:Again, you know 2013,. It was all these individuals. I'm a firm believer. I say this all the time Everybody want to be on the bus until they see the work behind the scene. Talk about that, but when you don't want to be committed to what you say you're going to do, you eventually drop off. Your heart is not in it and from maybe over 50 some people, it ended up to three individuals and them three individuals. They stood with me through the hardest times and now you know. I'm grateful because you know look at Stop the Violence today, 10 years strong, but not even that. From that first year, everything that we said that we would do, we continued to do them for 10 straight years. We was committed, Wow, Consistent, Consistent, yeah, Dedicated. It takes that, yeah, yes, yeah, everything. And the only time you can do that is you're passionate about it. And not even that. I didn't want another parent to go through what I went through.
Speaker 1:So what would you tell a parent who has lost a child right now, who you see going through what you went through back then?
Speaker 2:I see parents suffering all the time.
Speaker 1:All the time.
Speaker 2:On the inside. They got to talk about it. You have to talk about it, not even that Some parents may think that the only way that they can survive is getting justice. I'm 10 years now and I still don't have justice. Wow, but I know karma is real. Right, I know God going to continue to fight my battles, because a lot of times people don't know that karma can live and come back to hunt us through our children, through their children's children. So I always sit back because I know God is real.
Speaker 1:So communication talking about it, yes, yeah, getting some help, because holding that pain in you could die eternally and bring on sickness, a broken heart.
Speaker 2:Yes, my son's father died six months after him, and I believe it was from a broken heart.
Speaker 1:Wow, I never heard that before until I had a conversation with someone that said that you can die from a broken heart because you had so much love for that individual. And I never heard that before.
Speaker 2:But not even that too. I had to learn this too, because God said don't love nobody more than you. Love me, mm, mm, you love me. I love my son so much, so much, so much. So in the midst of me losing my son, my daughter had a baby, my son. When I needed a babysitter, my daughter, my son, used to come home and babysit for me right. So when I lost my son, it's like that same love that I was pouring into him I could pour it into my granddaddy. So I kept my daughter's baby for maybe the straight five years and I just went cold turkey and stopped keeping her Because I wanted God to keep her.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow, that's deep man. People don't understand the impact of, I guess, young people taking someone's help, someone's life. They don't know the impact that it has on the other person's family. You know, to me, yes, it's a, it's a lot.
Speaker 2:You know, just even now me checking my emails from my website. You know people all over the 757 reaches out to me. You know their kids are being slain in the streets, just being shot at while driving. You know we really got to come together. You know we done lost so many young men, we losing the women. You know I mean enough is enough, enough is enough. What more has to be done for people to come together?
Speaker 1:As I always say, you never know who's listening. I know you have stopped the violence, but how do you cope with that loss of a loved one? Outside of that, what do you do? Because I know it has to be other activities that you have to do.
Speaker 2:So for me I am very engaged, right. So I worked for the Up Center Six years. I interned there. You know they was pleased with my work and you know my supervisor. You know she was like Monica if a job opening ever come up it's yours. And I ran into her four years later and she said I have an opening, if you want it, it's yours. And I proved myself opening. If you want it, it's yours. And I proved myself again. You know been there six years now, but not even that I facilitate two after school programs at schools I attended when I was young Brighton Elementary in Parkview. So you know things just came around full circle. I also I'm the facilitator through Bonds and Secours, kids and Grief.
Speaker 2:I have my own business where I'm a partner with me and my cousin and I. We started when it started the pandemic. You know it's called Atkins Yard Decor. I sell my own gravy, okay, and I make detox tea. So you know I am very entrepreneur. You know I gravy Okay, and I make detox tea. So you know I am very entrepreneur. You're not just Creative, not just creative. You know. I mean back in the days. You know I used to have all the big pool parties, all the big block parties and things, but nevertheless that's my past, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I got you so, but it stuck with you the entrepreneurship yes yes, you, you know, yeah, I got so but um, it stuck with you. Yes, yes, you gotta know how to chime it in and turn it into something else. You know, yeah. So I mean I'm very engaged in the community, very engaged, so you stay active always yes and not even that.
Speaker 2:Um, I was started a bike club called the pedal pushers, so you know, I have encouraged people during the pandemic to get up off the couch and to get outside and start riding the bikes. So I do have um partnerships with north of state. Um, I've did two bike rides with them. Okay, in the month of june, which is a national awareness day for gun violence, and I do bike ride for the city of portsmouth as well, wow.
Speaker 1:So get your bike, get on it and ride and get the movement. Yes, how moving. Yes, how often do you do those? When is the next one?
Speaker 2:So it'll be next year. It's the National Awareness Month, which is in June.
Speaker 1:Got you. So you think about People, think about why. You said why. What are some of the root causes Do you think gun violence come from? I know there's a lot of them, but what do you think the?
Speaker 2:main one is it could be food insecurities Got you, because sometimes you know people feel like they got to feed their families right and they want to go out here and take things by force. You know, survival, yeah, survival mode mode, but not even that too. We got to be careful how we converse with our kids or conversations that we have around them, because a lot of times too, kids can build up anger in them you know we got to stop telling these kids your father not nothing, your dad is your daddy's not nothing.
Speaker 2:Say we have an issue with somebody, certain conversations that we shouldn't have around kids, and not even that, setting the kids up for failure. We's buying these children all this expensive stuff when they're younger. Then, when they get older, they can't afford it and they feel like they're entitled to it. They want to take it, and not even that we need to correct children when they're entitled to it. You know they want to take it. You know, and not even that we need to correct children when they're wrong, not just correct them. Also, we need to listen to our children and I was always I'm convicted of that, you know, because my daughter I thank God for my daughter, because I never wanted to listen to stuff she had to say you know, I always thought I was right, yeah, I got you. And she was like mom, you have to listen to. You know, you got to hear my side of the story. So I'm a great listener. Now you know I need to listen, and not even that. Our tones.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got to watch how you say it.
Speaker 2:It's how you say it yes, yes, and I can just be transparent, because when I grew up, my mother always yelled at me, always. And what I did when I raised my children I yelled at them and not even that you know. I reflect back when my mama used to yell at me for when I came back late from keeping my, you know, when she kept my children. So when my sister used to keep my kids, I was terrified to come back home because guess what that same yelling my mother used to do, my sister would do the same thing, you know. So you know I overcame that because, again, we got to be able to listen, we got to be able to listen, wow.
Speaker 1:What would you like to say to lawmakers or leaders who have the power to address gun violence? I know a lot of people run for office city council. What would you, what would you say to them if you had? You know that space and time?
Speaker 2:so I'm not into the politics okay I'm not into it, right, but we just got to be compassionate and real with one another. It's just so much lowball stuff that's going around here. It's happening in every city, you know. But stay true to yourself, you know. Stay true to who you are. Don't allow nobody to buy you. You know and stand on your word. What you say, mean it. Don't let nobody to buy you. You know and stand on your word. What you say, mean it. Don't let nobody change what you want to say or what you got to say. Don't let nobody put a price tag on what you want to say.
Speaker 1:Be authentic with who you are. I like it. I like it. You never know what room you'll be in in 2025. That's why I said it you never know.
Speaker 2:I mean, you never know, it's God's plan Absolutely.
Speaker 1:It's God's plan, absolutely. You never know. So you might get that. You know the microphone to share your heart with lawmakers and because of you, things will change. Yeah, they will. Wow, you're an amazing person, monica, thank you. Wow, with all that you've been through in life, what would you say about Monica Atkins today?
Speaker 2:I love who I am today, With all the trials and tribulations I had to go through. But through it all I got to give God the glory because God has kept me through all that I've been through. It's God that's keeping me.
Speaker 1:So you think you've grown, you've matured, Most definitely yes, I am not who I used to be. Wow. So how would you identify yourself today as a person in terms of being who you are, in terms of an entrepreneur and a family person? How would you present yourself today or say if somebody was to ask you about Monica Atkins being who you are in?
Speaker 2:terms of an entrepreneur and a family person. How would you present yourself?
Speaker 1:today, if somebody was to ask you about Monica Adkins.
Speaker 2:So for me, seeing me as love, okay.
Speaker 2:Because love is action and anybody that tell you they came across me. I'm a woman of my word and I show up for everybody. If I tell you I'm going to be there, I'm a woman of my word and I show up for everybody. If I tell you I'm going to be there, I'm there. If I tell you I'm going to do something, I'm going to do. And not even that. And my son was into music and he had a verse that say making sure the kids in the hood being took care, and I'm grateful that I'm honoring his wishes. I'm making sure the kids in the hood being took care. That's deep.
Speaker 1:So what are some of the activities you have that you have coming up that can bring awareness to the community about Stop the Violence?
Speaker 2:So you know, as of Friday, the kids are out for two weeks for the holiday breaks. Me and my staff are here at Stop the Violence. We are doing a two-week free camp for 50 kids, feeding them breakfast, lunch and dinner, and have structured activities planned out for them for the eight days they'll be with us. Other than that, you know, we're excited about our 10th year. Galen is coming up in March and also we clean the streets in the city of Portsmouth, not just Portsmouth, norfolk. I adopted Effingham Street. That's the street my son was murdered on, and I clean it quarterly and I'm grateful that it's a sign out there that says Stop the Violence in memory of my son, because that's the area he grew up in. Wow, wow.
Speaker 1:You want to talk about that gala coming up? Sure, talk about it.
Speaker 2:So again, this year is our 10th year anniversary gala, which will be here in the city of Portsmouth at Rivers Casino on March the 8th. We will be here in the city of Portsmouth, at Rivers Casino on March the 8th. We will be highlighting individuals that supported us for the year 2024. So each year at our galas, we always highlight and nominate and award nonprofits that work with us for that year. Got you. But you know I'm excited this year because a lot of my son's friends are coming out. You know I need to let them know. These men are doing great things in life, wow. So I want to showcase them too. Got you. Wow, it's going to be a big event.
Speaker 1:Yes, wow, wow. So how can people reach out to you for help and to help?
Speaker 2:So anytime anybody want to volunteer, they can go to our website wwwstoptheviolence757.com and just complete the information that's at the bottom. I always return emails, or somebody on my staff will. They can follow our journey on Facebook or Instagram at StopTheViolence757. Or either they can email us personally at StopTheViolence757 at gmailcom. Wow.
Speaker 1:Before we go, is there anything you want to say to those who may be listening, any encouragement you know you want to share?
Speaker 2:Let's stop having a blind eye to things that's in our face. We can save our kids if we stop having a blind eye.
Speaker 1:That's good. So do you think sometimes people don't join because it's not happening to them? So people become quiet, most definitely Put their heads in the sand Most definitely.
Speaker 2:But then when it happens, it knocks at their front door and they want to get engaged because you know, back then growing up your child was my child, my child was your child. We need to bring that back in the communities today, Wow.
Speaker 1:That's amazing. We really appreciate you, monica, monica being a part of MMV Media TV. On behalf of me and my business partner, no Mills, we really appreciate you considering coming on. Thank, you we thank you for your wisdom and what you're doing in the community. We really appreciate that. Thank you, thank you.